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jack99

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Anyone have advice on dealing with a child with ODD?

My 4 year old seems to be stuck in the 2 year old age range. She can be sweet one minute and deviant the next. Her favorite thing to do is make people angry and she openly admits she does so on purpose. She also constantly asks to be punished and placed in time out or recently has started asking to be hit (started at preschool). Or she screams constantly. I have tried everything I can think of in terms of discipline. I have spoken to her doctor who suggested ODD, but basically said she's a kid. Her behavior is beyond being a kid, her 2 year old sister is more advanced than she is socially, emotionally, and physically. My 4 year old has also reverted back to diapers after being toilet trained. She is a highly intelligent child, talking to her is like talking to a 10 year old at times. Basically, I'm at my wits end in dealing with her and I don't know what else to do. She was very ill for nearly a year with digestive troubles, she lost a lot of weight and fell off the growth charts. That problem has been resolved with treatment, I'm just wondering if the behavior is some sort of developmental delay.
Yes, the Dr. was a pediatrician. And everything you listed sounds exactly like her at times. We are seeing the Dr. soon about possibly getting her into OT to help develope motor skills. She can not ride a trike, hold eating utensils, write, and many other things that kids her age can do. I'm starting to think a big part of her problem is frustration with motor skills. She is in dance class with kids her age and is so aukward compared to them. She is above average on the intelligence side. Thats what gets me, she can read, but not write.

525 day(s) ago

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Johnny 		According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), children with ODD, have a pattern of negativistic, hostile, and defiant behavior lasting at least 6 months, during which four (or more) of the following are present:
Often loses temper
Often argues with adults
Often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults' requests or rules
Often deliberately annoys people
Often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
Is often touchy or easily annoyed by others
Is often angry and resentful
Is often spiteful or vindictive

B. The disturbance in behavior causes clinically significant impairment in social, academic, or occupational functioning.

C. The behaviors do not occur exclusively during the course of a Psychotic or Mood Disorder.

Was the doctor who suggested she may have ODD a pediatrician?
It is not unusual for Children with ADD/ADHD and Autism etc to have a comorbid condition such as ODD. It may also be related to her being ill with digestive problems for a year, which can cause, weight loss & Malabsorption of nutrients etc she needed to grow, physically & intellectually. Now that this has been resolved she may take a it bit of time to catch up.

So ideally you need to have her assessed, and then have some intervention programs & strategies to help you manage her, if she has ODD.

If she does have ODD, you need to have a routine with clear boundaries & guidelines/rules, and make sure she knows what the consequences are for breach of boundaries & guidelines or aggressive behaviour etc.
Be fair and consistent, pick your battles and don't get into a yelling match (sometimes there are times you just need to walk away).
Look for signs of building aggression or anxiety, so you can prevent a full blown hissy fit,
aggressive behaviour where she has hurt someone, remove her and isolate her in a confined area where she can't throw or break anything or hurt herself, let her calm down, before talking to her calmly, and encourage her to apologize to the person she hurt (don't force her because she will defy you).
Reinforce good behaviour, when she is good tell her how pleased you are with her, and give her a reward for being good.



My daughter has ADHD, ODD & Dyslexia (diagnosed at 9) and from infancy through to early teen she has had major digestive problems and was diagnosed Malabsorption about 9 months of age (despite being breast feed, so she had to have this disgusting stuff to help boost her immune system etc), as a adult she is still very small for her age, still has tummy problems, so she is very careful with what she eats, intellectually she has above average IQ.

She was the most obstinate child ever, she'd drive us nuts arguing with us over anything and everything, if something was clearly pink, she'd say it was blue, she'd defied us at every opportunity, often hurting herself in the process, and she would deliberately annoy people, just to get them riled, and if things went wrong she, would blame everyone else but herself.

As for temper tantrums, being mean, vindictive etc, she was rarely these (but when she went off you knew about it), incredibly she is the most caring, loving child, she was called the little mother at kindergarten, which everyone liked, until she annoyed them lol.

We used behavioural modification, diet, ridged routine and Ritalin to manage her, as well as set clear & consistent guidelines, with clear consequences for breaking guidelines, we even had a chart for behaviour & chores, and reward once a week for being good, and when was very very good we'd ring her grand mother up and she'd get to tell Nanna she was good girl, which reinforced good behaviour.

Posted 525 day ago

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